All The Things Guys Do To Delay Orgasm

Tell us it’s not true

1. He begins to recite the multiplication table in his head

2. He takes a long pause and pretends to be romantic by kissing her

3. He starts thinking of who will pay for her Uber back home

4. He tries to bring up a conversation during sex

5. He starts thinking of the nastiest things to distract himself

6. He begins to consider the After Life.

Especially because he’s fornicating, right now

7. He goes in again but this time more slowly and pinches himself as he continues to pound.

Then she suddenly calls out another guy’s name

As he tries to pull out he discovers he can’t… issa magun

Now, the only person that is ‘coming’ is Chiwetalu Agu