Ask Jay is ZUMI’s weekly relationship advice column
I met a guy through my friend. We became so close that people thought we were dating. We have been intimate many times and he knows my deepest secrets. I feel very comfortable with him and he cares for me.
One day, I told him I had fallen in love with him but he said we can’t be together. He says he does not care if I have a boyfriend but anytime he sees me with another guy, he gets jealous. I recently found out he has a girlfriend, yet a few days ago, he visited me and told me he loves me. Now I’m confused. Does he really love me or I should cut him out of my life?
It’s possible that he’s telling the truth when he says he loves you but isn’t ready to be committed to you. Now the question is, do you want a commitment? Do you want a future with him?
If you do, then it’s time you set your ground rules. Tell him you will only have a real relationship with him if he’s ready to be exclusive. In other words, neither of you will date other people.
His response will determine your next steps. If he continues to fool around with other girls and doesn’t put in the effort to make things work, then it’s time to let go. You cannot force anyone to commit, no matter how much they like you. This is a choice only they can make. So it’s crucial that you walk away when you have a partner that isn’t giving you what you need.
However, if you’re both fine with keeping things casual, i.e hanging out but seeing other people too, then that’s your prerogative. In this case, he has to either get on board with you dating other guys or he leaves.
Hope this helps. Good luck.
What do you think she should do in this situation? Please share your thoughts in the comment section. Also, read Jay’s advice to a woman whose boyfriend refuses to make the relationship official.
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The post Ask Jay: I Can’t Tell If He Really Loves Me. Should I Move On? appeared first on ZUMI.