You may not realize it but the way we’re conditioned to act and think has a direct effect on our sex lives.
There’s a direct correlation between traditional gender roles and sex, and it can cause problems for you if you’re not able to move past this kind of societal conditioning. Here are some ways traditional gender roles ruin sex for women:
Your pleasure is not a priority
When you grow up in a society where women “give sex” and have to “save themselves” for marriage, it promotes the idea that sex is something we offer. It then becomes easy for us to adopt the idea of, “as long as he’s being pleasured, it’s all good.” This also means we’re less likely to ask for what we need. And in many cases, we may have sex even when we don’t want to.
You are less likely to initiate sex
The connection between gender roles and sex also promotes the idea that it’s always up to the guy to make the first move. This affects both men and women. She feels like it will make her seem desperate or promiscuous to ask for sex, and he hardly ever feels wanted by his partner. They are both following the traditional rules but are still unhappy with their sex life.
You are judged for the number of sexual partners you have
Isn’t it crazy that women are judged when they have a lot of sexual partners while men are judged when they have less? As a result, the woman is shamed for having an active sex life. And the guy will very likely jump into a sexual relationship even before he’s ready.
Men aren’t allowed to be vulnerable
It’s expected that women should be more emotional in the bedroom while a guy should stay cold and detached. This leads to men being unable to connect with their partners during sex. At the end of the day, he holds back and she does not feel desired.
You are expected to have a “perfect” body
The societal objectification of women has created a situation where they are often very self-conscious in the bedroom. Instead of focusing on receiving pleasure, she worries about how her body looks, how she sounds, etc.
You are taught that men are in control
Another way gender roles and sex are connected is the fact that sexual assault is often justified. Women are expected by society to be coy while it’s a man’s job to change her mind. So even if she says no and means it, he still takes it as an invitation to convince her. This gives him permission to do whatever it takes, including sexual assault.
These situations are quite heartbreaking and the only way to move past them is to release yourself from the prison of societal conditioning. It’s okay to want sex, feel pleasured by it and express yourself through whatever sexual means you want, as long as it’s consensual. If you don’t, you will end up experiencing a lifetime of sexual dissatisfaction.
For more, read all about how circumcision can affect your sex life.
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