Have you ever experienced the loss of a person who’s been in your life for years and then all of a sudden, they are gone?They’re off living a different life without you, and yet you are sitting in the same location wondering what you will do without them?
That is how I would best describe empty nest syndrome.
After having kids in your house, raising them, tending to their every need – to
the best of your ability – and then one day, they are gone – headed into a new
way of life, without you.
While one cannot be diagnosed with ‘empty nest syndrome’
many experience symptoms of depression, sadness and grief, due to young and
close family members leaving home.
There are not a lot of people who will open up
and tell you the sadness they feel when their child or someone they care for
leaves the home. Often times they will feel guilty or wrong for being sad. Or
they’re told that they should just move on and be happy for the other person.
What if it was ok to be sad that someone who was once a part of your everyday life
is no longer there on a daily basis?
If you are feeling lost and surrounded by the
symptoms of empty nest syndrome, here are some tips to help you overcome the
the transition period happen. When someone or
something shifts from your life, there is a transition period. If you try
pretending that you are not sad or upset about this significant change in your
life, you will make this transition a lot more difficult for yourself. If
you let the transition happy, allowing all the emotions, fear, sadness arise
without making it significant, it will be much easier.
with the loneliness. Loneliness is a part of empty
nest syndrome. Be ok with being lonely. Allow this to be a time to reflect and
be present with all that you are feeling about the changes in your life.
Gratitude. Even though you have
experienced a significant loss in your life, be grateful for what was and what
is to come. The only constant we have in life is change, embrace it and be
grateful for it. Every change in your life can bring great things when you are
the gift you are as a Parent. If you are
experiencing empty nest syndrome, you are most likely a parent and have put
your heart and soul into raising your child. Whether things have gone smoothly
as a parent or not, know that you have done the best you can. Acknowledge that
your care and consideration for your child is a gift. When you acknowledge the
gift of you being a parent to a child that is leaving your nest, it will allow
you to relax into the changes.
help. If your experiences of loss and sadness are
taking up more than ten percent of your thoughts, feelings and emotions, find a
practitioner that can assist you in releasing what is holding you back from
embracing this change.
Social. If you are feeling lost, isolated and not sure
what to do, get out of your house and connect with others! It is not a weakness
to reach out and seek other company. Reach out and connect with your community
to help fill the void of conversation and connection that you had with your
child when they were at home with you. Chances are you might find friends that
can be a great contribution to bridging the gap between your life with your
child and your life with your child away and living their own life.
No one will ever dive deep and tell you what
occurs when someone leaves your nest. It’s difficult, and not something you
want to push upon another. However, if you use the six tools above and allow
yourself to experience the range of emotions and feelings throughout this
transition (without making yourself wrong for it), then this transition time
will be far easier and will pass more quickly than if you resist and make
yourself wrong for it.
Enjoy the journey, and know that if you are willing, there is always a gift behind all change, whether it is hard or easy.
Samantha Lewis is a life coach, corporate wellness practitioner and certified facilitator of several special programs by Access Consciousness®, including Being You Adventures. Throughout her corporate career in sales and marketing, she retained an avid interest in mental, physical and spiritual wellness and is trained in Shiatsu and Indian Head Massage,acupressure and aromatherapy. Samantha now draws upon her wide range of skills and her personal moments of both joy and sadness to facilitate empowering workshops for groups and individuals. Follow Samantha.